youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
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Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
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