Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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