thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
