Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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