She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
