The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize