you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
