Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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