I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
