so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
