Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
