There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
