you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
