when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we're making bets on your personal life
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
