There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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