Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
high people should be assigned attendants
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
