what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
