And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
