You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
