yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
