Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
