I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
