she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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