i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize