I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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