singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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