I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
