Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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