I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
