On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
