Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
