Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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