We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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