we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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