i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
there was a trapeze. enough said
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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