yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
