Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
