WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize