i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
