I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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