I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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