Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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