I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
