I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
