the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
