I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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