I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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