I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
