bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
