I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I would fuck him just for his dog
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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