Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
