Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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