I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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